He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
