My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
