You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
