Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
