Where are you?
In a non slutty way
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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