ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
