OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
