dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You're a waste of cheezeits
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
