Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
