I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
