Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
