there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
