I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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