I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You're a waste of cheezeits
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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