Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
