How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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