p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
