I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
