I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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