I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
