We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
