you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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