...so i touched it.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize
