there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
