Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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