She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Also, beer. Big fan.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
