i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Randomize
