she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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