of course. lets lasso hookers.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
