Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i dont even know how to be here
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
try to milk me bitch
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
