what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
