And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
