the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
