She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
