Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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