i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
