before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
