Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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