i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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