i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
