My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
