i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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