You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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