yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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