this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
