tonight lets celebrate not being married
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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