I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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