East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
