why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
