I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
she told me i tasted like america
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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